دانلود کتاب Dealing with Emotional Problems Using Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT)

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Cover
Half Title
Title Page
Copyright Page
Table of Contents
Preface
Introduction
Why I Have Changed Activating Event to Adversity
Why I Have Changed Beliefs to Attitudes
Why I Have Changed Irrational Beliefs to Rigid and Extreme Attitudes and Why I Have Changed Rational Beliefs to Flexible and Non-Extreme Attitudes
Why I Have Changed Low Frustration Tolerance (LFT) Beliefs to Unbearability Attitudes and High Frustration Tolerance (HFT) Beliefs to Bearability Attitudes
Why I Have Changed Disputing Beliefs to Examining Attitudes
Notes
Chapter 1 Emotional Problems: Foundations and Healthy Alternatives
What Are the Nine Emotional Problems?
Healthy Alternatives to the Nine Emotional Problems
Problems With Positive Emotions as Healthy Alternatives to the Emotional Problems
Problems With Neutral Emotions as Healthy Alternatives to the Emotional Problems
Problems With Living in an Emotional Vacuum as a Healthy Alternative to the Emotional Problems
Problems With Reducing the Intensity of Emotional Problems as Healthy Alternatives to These Emotional Problems
Healthy Negative Emotions (HNEs) as Healthy Alternatives to the Emotional Problems
Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy
The Nine Emotional Problems Are Underpinned By Rigid/extreme Attitudes
Rigid Attitudes
Three Extreme Attitudes
The Healthy Alternatives to the Nine Emotional Problems Are Underpinned By Flexible and Non-Extreme Attitudes
Flexible Attitudes
Three Non-Extreme Attitudes
Inference Themes in Relation to Your Personal Domain
Personal Domain
Inference
Inference Theme
Distinguishing Emotional Problems From Their Healthy Alternatives
Inference Themes and Attitudes
Associated Behaviour
Associated Thinking
In the ‘ABC’ Model of REBT, Thinking Can Occur
Notes
Chapter 2 Dealing With Anxiety
Understanding Anxiety
Major Inference Themes in Anxiety
Rigid/extreme Attitudes
Behaviour Associated With Anxiety
Thinking Associated With Anxiety
Threat-exaggerating Thinking
Safety-seeking Thinking
How to Deal With Anxiety
Step 1: Identify Reasons Why Anxiety Is a Problem for You and Why You Want to Change
Step 2: Take Responsibility for Your Anxiety
Step 3: Identify the Threats You Tend to Be Anxious About
Major Threats to Self-Esteem
Major Threats That Do Not Involve Your Self-Esteem
Step 4: Identify the Three Components of Your Anxiety Response and Set Goals With Respect to Each Component
Identify the Three Components of Your Anxiety Response
Set Goals With Respect to Each of the Three Components
Step 5: Identify Your General Rigid/extreme Attitudes and Alternative General Flexible/ Non-Extreme Attitudes
Identify Your Alternative General Flexible/non-Extreme Attitudes
Step 6: Examine Your General Attitudes
Examine Your General Rigid Attitude and Its General Flexible Attitude Alternative
Examine Your Main General Extreme Attitude and Its General Non-Extreme Attitude Alternative
Step 7: Face Your Threat in Imagery
Step 8: Face Your Threat in Reality
Step 9: Capitalise On What You Have Learned
Step 10: Generalise Your Learning
Using REBT’s ABCD Form to Deal With Specific Examples of Your Anxiety
Other Important Issues in Dealing With Anxiety
Why You Overestimate Threat and How to Deal With It
Why You Overestimate Threat
How to Deal With Your Overestimations of Threat
How to Examine the Accuracy of Your Inference of Threat, If Necessary
Assessing and Dealing With Emotional Problems About Anxiety
Assessing Anxiety About Anxiety
Dealing With Anxiety About Anxiety
Developing and Rehearsing Non-Anxious, Concern-Based World Views
Note
Chapter 3 Dealing With Depression
Understanding Depression
The Three Realms of Your Personal Domain That Are Implicated in Depression
The Autonomous Realm
The Sociotropic Realm
The Deservingness Realm
Major Inference Themes in Depression
Rigid/extreme Attitudes
Behaviour Associated With Depression
Thinking Associated With Depression
How to Deal With Depression
Step 1: Identify Reasons Why Depression Is a Problem for You and Why You Want to Change
Step 2: Become Active
Step 3: Take Responsibility for Your Depression
Step 4: Identify the Themes You Tend to Be Depressed About
Common Themes in Sociotropic Depression
Common Themes in Autonomous Depression
The Theme in Pity-Based Depression
Step 5: Identify the Three Components of Your Depression Response and Set Goals With Respect to Each Component
Identify the Three Components of Your Depression Response
Set Goals With Respect to Each of the Three Components
Step 6: Identify Your General Rigid/extreme Attitudes and Alternative General Flexible/ Non-Extreme Attitudes
Identify Your General Rigid/extreme Attitudes
Identify Your Alternative General Flexible/non-Extreme Attitudes
Step 7: Examine Your General Attitudes
Examine Your General Rigid Attitude and Its General Flexible Attitude Alternative
Examine Your General Extreme Attitude and Its General Non-Extreme Attitude Alternative
Step 8: Face Your Loss, Failure and Undeserved Plight in Imagery
Step 9: Face Your Loss, Failure and Undeserved Plight in Reality
Step 10: Capitalise On What You Have Learned
Step 11: Generalise Your Learning
Using REBT’s ABCD Form to Deal With Specific Examples of Your Depression
Other Important Issues in Dealing With Depression
Why You Focus So Much On Loss, Failure and Undeserved Plight and How to Deal With this
Why You Focus So Much On Loss, Failure and Undeserved Plight
How to Deal With Your Selective Focus On Loss, Failure and Undeserved Plight
How to Examine the Accuracy of Your Inference of Loss, Failure Or Undeserved Plight, If Necessary
Assessing and Dealing With Emotional Problems About Depression
Assessing Depression About Depression
Dealing With Depression About Depression
Developing and Rehearsing Non-Depressed, Sadness-Based World Views
Notes
Chapter 4 Dealing With Guilt
Understanding Guilt
Major Inference Themes in Guilt
Rigid/extreme Attitudes
Behaviour Associated With Guilt
Thinking Associated With Guilt
How to Deal With Guilt
Step 1: Identify Reasons Why Guilt Is a Problem for You and Why You Want to Change
Step 2: Take Responsibility for Your Guilt
Step 3: Identify the Themes You Tend to Be Guilty About
Step 4: Identify the Three Components of Your Guilt Response and Set Goals With Respect to Each Component
Identify the Three Components of Your Guilt Response
Set Goals With Respect to Each of the Three Components
Step 5: Identify Your General Rigid/extreme Attitudes and Alternative General Flexible/non-Extreme Attitudes
Identify Your General Rigid/extreme Attitudes
Identify Your Alternative General Flexible/non-Extreme Attitudes
Step 6: Examine Your General Attitudes
Examine Your General Rigid Attitude and Its General Flexible Attitude Alternative
Examine Your General Self-Devaluation Attitude and Its General Unconditional Self-Acceptance Attitude Alternative
Step 7: Take an Appropriate Amount of Responsibility and Understand Your Behaviour in Context
Step 8: Face Your Guilt-Related Theme in Imagery
Step 9: Apologise, Make Amends and Talk Things Through
Step 10: Capitalise On What You Have Learned
Step 11: Generalise Your Learning
Using REBT’s ABCD Form to Deal With Specific Examples of Your Guilt
Other Important Issues in Dealing With Guilt
Dealing With Your Safety-Seeking Measures to Avoid Guilt
Why You Feel Guilty Much of the Time and How to Deal With this
How to Deal With Chronic Guilt
How to Examine the Accuracy of Your Guilt-Related Inference, If Necessary
Dealing With Failure to Practise Healthy Self-Care
How to Practise Healthy Self-Care
Identifying and Dealing With the Hidden Conceit in Guilt
Can You Hurt the Feelings of Others?
Assessing and Dealing With Emotional Problems About Guilt
Developing and Rehearsing Non-Guilt, Remorse-Based World Views
Chapter 5 Dealing With Unhealthy Regret
Understanding Unhealthy Regret
Major Inference Themes in Unhealthy Regret
Rigid/extreme Attitudes
Behaviour Associated With Unhealthy Regret
Thinking Associated With Unhealthy Regret
How to Deal With Unhealthy Regret
Step 1: Identify Which Type of Unhealthy Regret You Experience and the Reasons Why Unhealthy Regret Is a Problem for You and Why You Want to Change
Step 2: Take Responsibility for Your Unhealthy Regret
Step 3: Identify the Themes You Tend to Be Unhealthy Regretful About
Step 4: Identify the Three Components of Your Unhealthy Regret Response and Set Goals With Respect to Each Component
Identify the Three Components of Your Unhealthy Regret Response
Set Goals With Respect to Each of the Three Components
Step 5: Identify Your General Rigid/extreme Attitudes and Alternative General Flexible/ Non-Extreme Attitudes
Identify Your General Rigid/extreme Attitudes
Identify Your Alternative General Flexible/non-Extreme Attitudes
Step 6: Examine Your General Attitudes
Examine Your General Rigid Attitude and Its General Flexible Attitude Alternative
Examine Your Relevant General Extreme Attitude and Its General Non-Extreme Attitude Alternative
Step 7: Dispel the Myth of the Perfect Decision Solution and Understand Your Behaviour in Context
In Retrospective Regret
In Prospective Regret
Step 8: Face Your Unhealthy Regret-Related Theme in Imagery
Step 9: Forgive Yourself and Show Yourself Compassion
Self-forgiveness
Self-compassion
Step 10: Capitalise On What You Have Learned
Step 11: Generalise Your Learning
Using REBT’s ABCD Form to Deal With Specific Examples of Your Unhealthy Regret
Other Important Issues in Dealing With Unhealthy Regret
Dealing With Your Safety-Seeking Measures to Avoid Unhealthy Regret
Accepting a Range of Outcomes From Making a Decision
Accepting That You Can’t Know What You Don’t Know
Why You Feel Unhealthy Regret Much of the Time and How to Deal With this
How to Deal With Chronic Unhealthy Regret
How to Examine the Accuracy of Your Unhealthy Regret-Related Inference, If Necessary
Identifying and Dealing With the Hidden Conceit in Unhealthy Regret
Assessing and Dealing With Emotional Problems About Unhealthy Regret
Developing and Rehearsing Healthy Regret-Based World Views
Notes
Chapter 6 Dealing With Shame
Understanding Shame
Major Inference Themes in Shame
Rigid/extreme Attitudes
Behaviour Associated With Shame
Thinking Associated With Shame
How to Deal With Shame
Step 1: Identify Reasons Why Shame Is a Problem for You and Why You Want to Change
Step 2: Take Responsibility for Your Shame
Step 3: Identify the Themes You Tend to Be Ashamed About
Step 4: Identify the Three Components of Your Shame Response and Set Goals With Respect to Each Component
Identify the Three Components of Your Shame Response
Set Goals With Respect to Each of the Three Components
Step 5: Identify Your General Rigid/extreme Attitudes and Alternative General Flexible/non-Extreme Attitudes
Identify Your General Rigid/extreme Attitudes
Identify Your Alternative General Flexible/non-Extreme Attitudes
Step 6: Examine Your General Attitudes
Examine Your General Rigid Attitude and Its General Flexible Attitude Alternative
Examine Your General Self-Devaluation Attitude and Its General Unconditional Self-Acceptance Attitude Alternative
Step 7: Adopt a Healthy Orientation Towards Your High Standards
Step 8: Face Your Shame-Related Theme in Imagery
Step 9: Face Situations and People With Your Head Held High
Step 10: Capitalise On What You Have Learned
Step 11: Generalise Your Learning
Using REBT’s ABCD Form to Deal With Specific Examples of Your Shame
Other Important Issues in Dealing With Shame
Dealing With Your Safety-Seeking Measures to Avoid Shame
Why You Feel Shame Much of the Time and How to Deal With this
How to Deal With Chronic Shame
How to Examine the Accuracy of Your Shame-Related Inference, If Necessary
Assessing and Dealing With Emotional Problems About Shame
Dealing With Shame About Shame
Developing and Rehearsing Non-Shame, Disappointment-Based World Views
Note
Chapter 7 Dealing With Hurt
UNDERSTANDING HURT
Major Inference Themes in Feeling Hurt
Rigid/extreme Attitudes
Behaviour Associated With Hurt
Thinking Associated With Feeling Hurt
How to Deal With Feeling Hurt
Step 1: Identify Reasons Why Feeling Hurt Is a Problem for You and Why You Want to Change
Step 2: Take Responsibility for Your Hurt
Step 3: Identify Themes You Tend to Feel Hurt About
Step 4: Identify the Three Components of Your Hurt Response and Set Goals With Respect to Each Component
Identify the Three Components of Your Hurt Response
Set Goals With Respect to Each of the Three Components
Step 5: Identify Your General Rigid/extreme Attitudes and Alternative General Flexible/ Non-Extreme Attitudes
Identify Your General Rigid/extreme Attitudes
Identify Your Alternative General Flexible/non-Extreme Attitudes
Step 6: Examine Your General Attitudes
Examine Your General Rigid Attitude and Its General Flexible Attitude Alternative
Examine Your General Extreme Attitude and Its General Non-Extreme Attitude Alternative
Step 7: Adopt a Healthy Orientation Towards Reciprocity in Close Relationships and Its Absence
Step 8: Face Your Hurt-Related Theme in Imagery
Step 9: Face People Who Have Treated You Unfairly, Disclose Your Sorrow and Have a Constructive Conversation About the Experience
Step 10: Capitalise On What You Have Learned
Step 11: Generalise Your Learning
Using REBT’s ABCD Form to Deal With Specific Examples of Your Hurt
Other Important Issues in Dealing With Hurt
Dealing With Your Safety-Seeking Measures to Avoid Hurt
Why You Feel Hurt Much of the Time and How to Deal With this
How to Deal With Chronic Hurt
How to Examine the Accuracy of Your Hurt-Related Inference, If Necessary
Assessing and Dealing With Emotional Problems About Hurt
Developing and Rehearsing Non-Hurt, Sorrow-Based World Views
Chapter 8 Dealing With Unhealthy Anger
Understanding Unhealthy Anger
Major Inference Themes in Unhealthy Anger
Rigid/extreme Attitudes
Behaviour Associated With Unhealthy Anger
Thinking Associated With Unhealthy Anger
How to Deal With Unhealthy Anger
Step 1: Identify Reasons Why Unhealthy Anger Is a Problem for You and Why You Want to Change
Understanding the Differences Between Unhealthy Anger and Healthy Anger
Identifying and Responding to Your Positive Connotations of Unhealthy Anger and Your Negative Connotations of Healthy Anger
Step 2: Take Responsibility for Your Unhealthy Anger
Step 3: Identify the Themes About Which You Tend to Feel Unhealthy Anger
Anger-related Inferences Concerning Self
Anger-related Inferences Concerning Others
Common Anger-Related Inferences About Inanimate Objects
Step 4: Identify the Three Components of Your Unhealthy Anger Response and Set Goals With Respect to Each Component
Identify the Three Components of Your Unhealthy Anger Response
Set Goals With Respect to Each of the Three Components
Step 5: Identify Your General Rigid/extreme Attitudes and Alternative General Flexible/non-Extreme Attitudes
Identify Your General Rigid/extreme Attitudes
Identify Your Alternative General Flexible/non-Extreme Attitudes
Step 6: Examine Your General Attitudes
Examine Your General Rigid Attitude and Its General Flexible Attitude Alternative
Examine Your General Extreme Attitude and Its General Non-Extreme Attitude Alternative
Step 8: Act Assertively in Relevant Anger-Related Situations
Step 9: Capitalise On What You Have Learned
Step 10: Generalise Your Learning
Using REBT’s ABCD Form to Deal With Specific Examples of Your Unhealthy Anger
Other Important Issues in Dealing With Unhealthy Anger
Why You Overestimate the Presence of Anger-Related Themes and How to Deal With It
Why You Overestimate the Presence of Disrespect
How to Deal With Your Overestimations of the Presence of Disrespect
How to Examine the Accuracy of Your Inference of Threat, If Necessary
Assessing and Dealing With Emotional Problems About Unhealthy Anger
Assessing Unhealthy Self-Anger About Unhealthy Anger
Dealing With Unhealthy Self-Anger About Unhealthy Anger
Developing and Rehearsing Healthy Anger-Based World Views
Chapter 9 Dealing With Unhealthy Jealousy
Understanding Unhealthy Jealousy
Major Inference Themes in Unhealthy Jealousy
Rigid/extreme Attitudes
Behaviour Associated With Unhealthy Jealousy
Thinking Associated With Unhealthy Jealousy
How to Deal With Unhealthy Jealousy
Step 1: Identify Reasons Why Unhealthy Jealousy Is a Problem for You and Why You Want to Change
Step 2: Take Responsibility for Your Unhealthy Jealousy
Step 3: Identify Themes About Which You Tend to Feel Unhealthy Jealousy
Step 4: Identify the Three Components of Your Unhealthy Jealousy Response and Set Goals With Respect to Each Component
Identify the Three Components of Your Unhealthy Jealousy Response
Set Goals With Respect to Each of the Three Components
Step 5: Recognise That Your Symptoms of Unhealthy Jealousy Are Evidence of Disturbance and Not Necessarily of the Existence of Threat to Your Relationship
Step 6: Identify Your General Rigid/extreme Attitudes and Alternative General Flexible/non-Extreme Attitudes
Identify Your General Rigid/extreme Attitudes
Identify Your Alternative General Flexible/non-Extreme Attitudes
Step 7: Examine Your General Attitudes
Examine Your General Rigid Attitude and Its General Flexible Attitude Alternative
Examine Your General Extreme Attitude and Its General Non-Extreme Attitude Alternative
Step 8: Face Your Unhealthy Jealousy-Related Theme in Imagery
Step 9: Act in Ways That Are Consistent With Your General Flexible/non-Extreme Attitude
Step 10: Capitalise On What You Have Learned
Step 11: Generalise Your Learning
Using REBT’s ABCD Form to Deal With Specific Examples of Your Unhealthy Jealousy
Other Important Issues in Dealing With Unhealthy Jealousy
Dealing With Your Safety-Seeking Measures to Avoid Unhealthy Jealousy
Why You Feel Unhealthy Jealousy Much of the Time and How to Deal With this
How to Deal With Chronic Unhealthy Jealousy
How to Examine the Accuracy of Your Unhealthy Jealousy-Related Inference, If Necessary
Assessing and Dealing With Emotional Problems About Unhealthy Jealousy
Developing and Rehearsing Healthy Jealousy-Based World Views
Note
Chapter 10 Dealing With Unhealthy Envy
Understanding Unhealthy Envy
Major Inference Theme in Unhealthy Envy
Rigid/extreme Attitudes
Behaviour Associated With Unhealthy Envy
Thinking Associated With Unhealthy Envy
How to Deal With Unhealthy Envy
Step 1: Identify Reasons Why Unhealthy Envy Is a Problem for You and Why You Want to Change
Step 2: Take Responsibility for Your Unhealthy Envy
Step 3: Identify the Themes About Which You Tend to Feel Unhealthy Envy
Step 4: Identify the Three Components of Your Unhealthy Envy Response and Set Goals With Respect to Each Component
Identify the Three Components of Your Unhealthy Envy Response
Set Goals With Respect to Each of the Three Components
Step 5: Recognise That Your Symptoms of Unhealthy Envy Are Evidence of Disturbance and Not Necessarily That You Truly Desire the Prized Object That the Other Person Has, But You Don’t
Step 6: Identify Your General Rigid/extreme Attitudes and Alternative General Flexible/ Non-Extreme Attitudes
Identify Your General Rigid/extreme Attitudes
Identify Your Alternative General Flexible/non-Extreme Attitudes
Step 7: Examine Your General Attitudes
Examine Your General Rigid Attitude and Its General Flexible Attitude Alternative
Examine Your General Extreme Attitude and Its General Non-Extreme Attitude Alternative
Step 8: Face Your Unhealthy Envy-Related Theme in Imagery
Step 9: Act in Ways That Are Consistent With Your General Flexible/non-Extreme Attitude
Step 10: Capitalise On What You Have Learned
Step 11: Generalise Your Learning
Using REBT’s ABCD Form to Deal With Specific Examples of Your Unhealthy Envy
Other Important Issues in Dealing With Unhealthy Envy
Rethinking the Place of Objects in Your Life
Making Healthy Comparisons
Why You Feel Unhealthy Envy Much of the Time and How to Deal With this
How to Deal With Chronic Unhealthy Envy
How to Examine the Strength of Your Desire for What Others Have That You Prize, But Don’t Have
Assessing and Dealing With Emotional Problems About Unhealthy Envy
Developing and Rehearsing Healthy Envy-Based World Views
Notes
References
Appendix 1 Descriptions, Foundations and Illustrations of Thinking Errors and Their Realistic and Balanced Alternatives
Appendix 2 Reasons Why Rigid Attitudes Are False, Illogical and Have Largely Unhealthy Consequences and Flexible Attitudes Are True, Logical and Have Largely Healthy Consequences
Appendix 3 Reasons Why Awfulising Attitudes Are False, Illogical and Have Largely Unhealthy Consequences and Non-Awfulising Attitudes Are True, Logical and Have Largely Healthy Consequences
Appendix 4 Reasons Why Unbearability Attitudes Are False, Illogical and Have Largely Unhealthy Consequences and Bearability Attitudes Are True, Logical and Have Largely Healthy Consequences
Appendix 5 Reasons Why Devaluation Attitudes Are False, Illogical and Have Largely Unhealthy Consequences and Unconditional Acceptance Attitudes Are True, Logical and Have Largely Healthy Consequences
Appendix 6 ABCD Blank Form With Instructions
Notes for Practitioners
1. Write Down a Brief, Objective Description of the ‘Situation’ You Were in
2. Identify Your ‘C’ – Your Major Disturbed Emotion, Your Dysfunctional Behaviour And, If Relevant, Your Distorted Subsequent Thinking
3. Identify Your ‘A’ – this Is What You Were Most Disturbed About in the Situation
4. Set Emotional, Behavioural and Thinking Goals
5. Identify Your Rigid/extreme Basic Attitudes (I.e., Rigid Attitude + Awfulising Attitude, Unbearability Attitude Or Devaluation Attitude)
6. Identify the Alternative Flexible/non-Extreme Attitudes That Will Enable You to Achieve Your Goals (I.e., Flexible Attitude + Non-Awfulising Attitude, Bearability Attitude Or Acceptance Attitude)
7. Develop Persuasive Arguments to Convince Yourself That Your Rigid/extreme Attitudes Are False, Illogical and Unhealthy and That Your Flexible/non-Extreme Attitudes Are True, Logical and Healthy – ‘D’. These Arguments Will Help You to Achieve Your Emoti
8. Re-Examine ‘A’ and Consider How Realistic It Was. Given All the Facts, Would There Have Been a More Realistic Way of Looking at ‘A’? If So, Write It Down
Use Supervision
Appendix 7 Quick Reference Guide to the Nine Emotional Problems and Their Healthy Alternatives
Anxiety Versus Concern
Depression Versus Sadness
Guilt Versus Remorse
Unhealthy Regret Versus Healthy Regret
Shame Versus Disappointment
Hurt Versus Sorrow
Unhealthy Anger Versus Healthy Anger
Unhealthy Jealousy Versus Healthy Jealousy
Unhealthy Envy Versus Healthy Envy
Index