دانلود کتاب The Baby Decision: How to Make The Most Important Choice of Your Life

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STEP ONE: DEFINING THE PROBLEM
Introduction: The Great Cradle Debate
Safety or Growth—It’s Your Choice
The Decision Maker’s Bill of Rights
How to Use This Book
Chapter 1: A Bird’s-Eye View
Is This a Woman’s Decision?
How to Get Your Hand Off the Panic Button
Deciding Under Emergency Circumstances
How Long Is Too Long?
Will the Wrong Decision Ruin Your Life?
Anxiety-Proof Yourself
STEP TWO: OVERCOMING OBSTACLES
Chapter 2: Secret Doors
Inner Conflict
Looking Back
Body Talk
Visions of Baby
Values
Timetables
Looking In
Nuts and Bolts of Parenting Couples Exercises
Chapter 3: In and Out of the Pressure Cooker
You Can Go Home Again
The Family Tree
An Unhappy Childhood
My Parents/Myself
My Mother/My Wife
Friends and Other Meddlers
The “Babies Are Wonderful” Crowd
Games Parents Play with Childfree People
Games Childfree People Play
The Conformity Syndrome
Stilling the Angry Voices
Is There an End in Sight for the Childfree?
Chapter 4: Poison Vials
Poison Vials About Parenthood
Poison Vials About the Childfree Choice
Poison Vials About Preparing for Parenthood
A Final Word About Poisons
STEP THREE: CONSIDERING HAPPINESS
Chapter 5: Which Way Happiness?
Building Blocks of Happiness
Happiness and Marriage
What the Experts Say About Happiness
STEP FOUR: MAKING THE DECISION
Chapter 6: Tug-of-War, or What to Do When Couples Conflict
Games Couples Play
Decision-Makers’ Bill of Responsibilities to Partner
First Aid for Battling Couples
Working It Out
Don’t Become a “Single” Married Parent
Is Counseling the Answer?
Before You Head to the Divorce Court . . .
The Second Time Around
Separate Faces—An Exercise for the ABP
A Final Word About Conflict
Chapter 7: Breaking the Age Barrier—Delayed Parenthood
Advantages of Delayed Parenthood
Disadvantages of Delayed Parenthood
The Medical Story
Motherhood Over 35 Is Not for Everybody
Am I/Are We Too Old to Parent?
Minimizing the Problems of Older Parenthood
Reasons for Delaying Parenthood
Talking to Parents and In-Laws About Older Parenthood
Chapter 8: Only Child—A Singular Solution
Advantages of an Only Child
Disadvantages to Having an Only Child
Deciding to Have a Second Child
Considering a Third Child
Chapter 9: Alternative Parenting
Gay Parenting
Checklist for Gay Couples Who May Become Parents
Single Parenting
List of Possible Decisions for Single People Considering Parenthood
Another Possibility/ The Reframe
Will My Child Feel Weird and Alone?
Why Be a Single Parent?
Joys of Single Parenthood
Difficulties of Single Parenthood
It’s Your Choice
Considerations for Potential Single Parents
Pregnancy Through Intercourse
Donor Insemination
Chapter 10: Solving Fertility Problems
Early Stage
Pregnancy Loss
Self-Care After Pregnancy Loss
Logistics
The Middle Stage
Coping with a Pregnancy after Infertility or a Miscarriage
Bill of Rights for Women Pregnant After Infertility
Later Stage: Thinking About Stopping Treatment
Psychological Actions to Help You Consider Stopping
Grief Work as Preparation To Stop Trying
Chapter 11: Adoption
Guidelines for Considering Adoption
Common Forms of Adoption
Open Adoption
Special Needs Adoption
Legal Risk Adoptions
Transracial or Multi-Cultural Adoption
An Overview of the Adoption Process
Simultaneous Trying
Ground Rules for Pursuing Adoption and Pregnancy Simultaneously
Chapter 12: Help!
Seeking Professional Help
Choosing the Right Kind of Help
What to Look for in a Therapist
How to Find Help
STEP FIVE: ACTING ON YOUR DECISION
Chapter 13: Embracing Your Childfree Life
Living with the Childfree Choice
Looking to the Future
Making It Final—Sterilization
If You Are Considering Making It Final
Using What You’ve Learned About Yourself to Grow
The Childfree Person—A New Kind of Pioneer
Chapter 14: Small Pleasures: Looking Toward Parenthood
Three’s Company—Preparing for the Baby
Look Forward to the Creativity and Joy You Hope to Experience
Lessons from Room Nineteen: How to Be a Mother Without Being a Martyr
Survival Tactics
Advice for Full-Time, At-Home Mothers
Advice for Working Mothers
Advice for All Mothers
Chapter 15: Grape Juice on Mommy’s Briefcase, or How to Combine Motherhood and Career Without Losing Your Mind or Your Job
Juggling Career and Motherhood
Who’s Changing the Diapers—Parents as Partners
Guidelines for Shared Parenting
Father Power
Finding Your Own Path to Shared Parenthood
Day Care? Where?—Mother’s Dream or Nightmare?
Guilt
Jealousy
Anger
Choosing the Right Kind of Day Care
Guidelines for Evaluating Your Child Care Choices
Chapter 16: How to Make the Most of Your Decision
Should You Announce Your Decision?
Acknowledgments
Acknowledgments for First Edition
APPENDIX 1: Bibliography
The Decision
Social Commentary
Personal Growth
Marriage/ Relationships
Childfree Choice
Pregnancy
Nursing
Postpartum
Parenting
Motherhood
Balancing Careers and Children
Fatherhood and Shared Parenthood
Adoption
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender
Infertility
Pregnancy Loss
The One-Child Family
Single Parents, Single Women
Step-Parenting
APPENDIX 2: Resources
Childfree
Birth and Postpartum
Infertility and Pregnancy Loss
Adoption
Parenting
Breastfeeding
Step-Families
Gay Resources
APPENDIX 3: Interview with Kayla Sheets, Genetic Counselor
APPENDIX 4: My Own Baby Decision
INDEX
About the Author
How to Contact Merle