دانلود کتاب The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power

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Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Epigraph
Contents
Introduction: Perfectionism Is a Power
Quiz: Which Type of Perfectionist Are You?
1. Expect to Be Graded on This
The Five Types of Perfectionism
2. Celebrating Your Perfectionism
Describing Perfectionism
Illness + Wellness
The Power of Perfectionism
Think Outside the Box, Then Throw the Box Away
The Perfection Paradox
An Inspired Life
Eudaemonic + Hedonic Well-Being
Adapting from the Inside Out
Embracing Adaptive Perfectionism
3. Perfectionism as Disease, Balance as Cure, Women as Patients
Balanced Ever After
A Riddle
Girl, You Are a Hot Mess!
The Opposite of a Balanced Woman
Celebrated Female Perfectionists
“I’m Such a Perfectionist”
More
4. Perfectionism Up Close
Perfectionism + Tension
Perfectionism Is Highly Individualized
Perfectionism Is Compulsive
Differentiating Perfectionism
Perfectionism + Striving towards an Ideal
Perfectionists + Self-Worth
Target Parking Lot Moments
Mental Health Is Fluid
The Raw Manifestations of Perfectionism
Superficial Control + Authentic Power
Perfectionists + Mindfulness
A Thousand Daggers
Using Your Perfectionism to Help You
The Raw Manifestations of Perfectionism Continued
Perfectionism + Trauma
Developmental Antecedents to Perfectionism
Developmental Antecedents to Maladaptive Perfectionism
Belonging
Perfectionism + Suicide
Perfectionists + Dichotomous Thinking
5. You’ve Been Solving for the Wrong Problem
Understanding Punishment
What Self-Punishments Look Like
Ava
Broaden-and-Build Theory
Three Main Reasons We Choose Self-Punishment Instead of Self-Compassion
The Accomplices to Self-Punishment: Numbing + Blame
The Most Common Self-Punishment: Negative Self-Talk
Recovering
Loopholes
When You Know Better But Don’t Do Better
A Paradigm Shift
6. You’ll Enjoy the Solution about as Much as You Enjoy Getting an A−
Letting Go
Fear-Based Striving
Fail Forward
Honoring the Process through Acknowledgment
Honoring the Process through Celebration
Unforeseen Setbacks
Accessing Your Instincts
Clarify Your Intentions
Be Compassionate with Yourself No Matter What
Self-Kindness
Common Humanity
Mindfulness
How Do You Practice Self-Compassion If You Can’t Stand Yourself?
Trauma-Informed Compassion
What If You Still Can’t Practice Self-Compassion Even after You Know All the Things?
Liminal Space
7. New Thoughts to Think to Help You Stop Overthinking It
1. Counterfactual Thinking Is a Cognitive Reflex
2. Support Comes in Every Color
3. Maintenance Is a Triumph
4. Swap “Better or Worse” for “Different”
5. Happiness Is Experienced in Three Stages; So Is Stress
6. A Feather’s-Weight More Weighs a Lot
7. The Difference between a Struggle and a Challenge Is Connection
8. Simple Isn’t Easy
9. Energy Management Beats Time Management
10. Closure Is a Fantasy
8. New Things to Do to Help You Stop Overdoing It
1. Reframe
2. Explain and Express
3. Hold Opinions, Not Judgments
4. Strike When the Iron Is Cold
5. Ask for Help
6. Set Boundaries
7. Sleep
8. Do Less, Then Do More
9. Now That You’re Free
When You Don’t Trust Yourself
When You Do Trust Yourself
Trust Is a Choice, Supported by Action, Built over Time
The First Step in Trusting Yourself
The Greatest Form of Power
Finding Meaning
An Imperceptible Shift
Self-Forgiveness
Certainty
What Trusting Yourself Looks Like in Real Life
It Will Take Time
Easy Come, Easy Go
Needs Are Not Wants
Community Care
Expect Resistance
My Greatest Pleasures
Afterword
Author’s Note
Acknowledgments
Notes
Index
About the Author